Saturday, August 24, 2013

Home Alone 5

Home Alone 5 (also known in North America as You're Next) is a basically the same plot as the other Home Alone movies, where invaders invade and somebody sets traps to deal with them, except this time, the main character is Kevin McCallister's girlfriend, who is an ex-green beret, for some reason. So the plot is, the McCallister parents are celebrating their 35th anniversary, so all the kids are gathered around, as are each child's respective squeeze, bickering ensues and then the wet bandits make their strike. Except this time, in order to get the McCallister's money, they are just planning on killing everyone in the house. So, like all pointless sequels, everything is recycled from the previous Home Alone entries, and they even go as far as shamelessly robbing ideas from 80's slasher movies. The score is forcibly 80's synth, the deaths are uninteresting, Kevin is a pussy, his girlfriend is likable, even though she manages to kill every single person by herself, but all the other characters are so unlikable, that I couldn't wait for them to die. The gore wasn't even good. All the deaths were off screen, followed by a shot of a prosthetic tool inside someone's body. After all this time, you think they would just let the Home Alone franchise die, but instead they had to make a new one "dark and gritty". It actually felt like Silent House, if somebody forced the director to direct a script with coherence. I hated just about every aspect of this film: the characters sucked, the camera work was obnoxious (sooooo much shaky cam) the editing was poor, the deaths weren't gruesome enough, and it just felt like a series of recycled ideas that didn't work as intended. It was all a bunch of Hipster bullshit, and I don't like it

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